i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize