he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
