Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
