My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
