i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I won the penis lottery.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
