genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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