He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You took a bar mat shot.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
