just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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