Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize