We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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