he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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