just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
