Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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