So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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