Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
