I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
