I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
