And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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