Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
