Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
