My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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