If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize