did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
