At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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