The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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