Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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