just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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