dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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