there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
