fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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