My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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