Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
