I hope mine doesn't look like that
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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