Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
