I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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