weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
