new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
