College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
