yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
