took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
