So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
