i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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