Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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