butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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