How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize