Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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