It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
