Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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