proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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