I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
