FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
