I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
