I just cut my nipple shaving
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
