Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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