he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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