I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
