i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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