Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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