STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
