Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
