if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i out mim tonsoeep
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