So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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