"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
