I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
