operation harelip BJ is a go
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
