An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Everclear isn't food dammit
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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