Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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