idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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