I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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