the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
