Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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