I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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