wanna go halves on a baby?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
