I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
