Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
