hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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