Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
