Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
