we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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