So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
