So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
