its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
